A Nice Day
by SigmaTheta
Summary: Several years in the future, Barney and Robin get married. It's only partially to screw with Ted. Barney/Robin.


It's a chilly morning in October and the sheets are pulled up around their shoulders when Barney sighs contentedly against her neck and says, "Let's get married."

Two seconds pass in complete silence before Robin whips her head around to look at him. "_What?_"

"Let's get married," he repeats, looping an arm around her waist and turning her so that they're facing each other, "You and me. This weekend. Maybe even today."

Robin stares at him and shakes her head in disbelief. "What are you talking about?" she laughs.

"Come on. It's just been us together for a long time, now. Obviously, monogamy isn't making us any less awesome. And we are pushing fifty."

"You're pushing fifty, not me."

"You told Ted you'd have married him when you turned forty, right? It'd be an excuse for a party with an open bar. We could have a honeymoon trip. We've got nieces and nephews to exploit for the ceremony."

Robin laughs again. "Why now?"

He shrugs. "Why not? If nothing else, it'll be fun to screw with everybody. Plus, you know, tax benefits."

Robin looks at him, still chuckling and shaking her head. Even though he's joking about this, he's got that silly, eager grin on his face, the one that _still_ manages to make him look about nineteen years old. He's been thinking about this for a while, and somehow he's got her grinning and thinking about it too. "All right," she says, "Let's get married."

***

"Dude. What are you doing?"

"Uh, buying jewelry for Robin?"

"Okay. But why am I here and why are you looking at engagement rings?"

"Please, Ted. That's just a label they use so they can charge more." Barney turns toward the bored-looking sales lady and taps on the display case. "Can I look at this one again?"

"You didn't actually answer either question."

"Ted, tell me what you think of this."

"And you're not going to. Of course." Ted shuffles over to Barney, looks back and forth between the eager look on his friend's face and the ring in his hand, and tries not to make any more comments on what this shopping trip really seems to be about. "She'll love it," he sighs.

When they walk through the door of the restaurant where they're meeting the others that evening, Barney calls out, "Scherbatsky! Bought you a ring!" and tosses the box toward her.

Robin catches it and grins, and Marshall and Lily shoot Ted a questioning look. He shrugs helplessly and sits down beside his wife.

***

"Ted, Marshall. I need you guys to be my co-best men."

"Oh my God, you are getting married! I knew it!"

"Geeze, Ted, relax. Oh wait. James should be one, too. Is three best men too many? Eh, I'm doing it anyway." Barney waves his hand carelessly and focuses on his friends again. "So, are you guys in?"

Marshall's shock has taken on a slightly different form than Ted's; the big man is nearly in tears. "Of course I'll be your best man!" he half-shouts, enveloping Barney in a hug.

Barney stumbles back, laughing gratefully as he pats Marshall on the back. "How about you, Ted?" he asks over the taller man's shoulder. There's a big smile and a slightly anxious look on his face, and Ted can see how, while this isn't completely serious, it's not quite a joke either.

He smiles, throws out his arms in defeat, and leans into the still on-going hug. "Sure, buddy," he says, "I'll be there."

He should have given up on trying to figure Barney out years ago.

***

Barney and Robin watch with amusement as their friends descend into chaos trying to organize their wedding. "Good thing we only gave them a few days to panic," Barney remarks once, reaching for the popcorn bowl in Robin's lap and leaning back against the couch.

Lily, catching the end of this statement, steps in front of them, blocking the television, and plants her hands on her hips. "Would it kill one of you to help or give some input?" she demands, "Colors? Flowers? Anything? You're not giving us a whole lot to work with, here."

The two exchange confused glances. "Lily, we're not doing any of that crap," Robin says, in a tone that is probably meant to be delicate, "We're just going to go down to the courthouse, sign a piece of paper, maybe say a few words, and then make out in front of our closest friends to seal the deal."

Barney continues, "Then I nail my new wife in the bathroom. To keep the tradition alive, of course." There is a pause as the future newlyweds bump fists. "And we jet off on our expensive and completely unnecessary honeymoon trip." He tilts his head and turns back toward Robin. "Hey, where are we going, anyway? Japan?"

"Ugh, I never want to see Japan again," she groans.

"Okay. Spain? Greece? Greece is nice this time of year."

"Ooh, that might be okay."

Lily looks vaguely disgusted.

***

The ceremony is exactly as small and casual as they had hoped for, a collection of close friends and a few scattered relatives in a small room with an officiant. Barney is only slightly more suited up than usual, and Robin is wearing a simple dress that, to her credit, does have at least a little bit of white. (They had toyed with the idea of Robin wearing a suit as well, but Lily had vetoed that one immediately and no one felt up to arguing with her.)

All of the guests seem a little bewildered by the whole situation. Even the older children can tell it's something weird. Still, the general agreement is that it is, in fact, a good weird, and several people are a little watery-eyed even as they shake their heads in disbelief. Lily winds up crying, and of course Marshall does, too.

Robin, on the other hand, holds it together very well. She only comes close to tears once, when Barney takes her hand, gives a little smile, and whispers, "Ready to rock this thing?"

When they begin speaking, Ted keeps track. Their vows contain twelve uses of the word _awesome_, three uses of _legendary_, five wildly inappropriate sexual references, two high fives, a suit comparison, and one very extended laser tag metaphor.

The word 'love' is only said once, but Ted is pretty sure that about half of the _awesome_s and at least one _legendary_ meant the same thing.


End file.
